This newsletter is made possible with the support of the American Diversity Group (ADG), based in Maryland. ADG is organized to bring together a diverse group of people to build and sustain a healthy community and enrich lives. Contact the ADG by visiting their website.
I write this short article to remind our South Asian individuals, parents, families, and friends to stop shying away from difficult conversations about mental health issues. Having such conversations is difficult for anyone, but due to our cultural influences, we make it harder than it is supposed to be. The cost of ignoring mental health issues is extremely high for the person experiencing those issues and those who care about them. Therefore it is essential to address these issues instead of hiding from them in the hopes that they will take care of themselves.
Go on any forum right now. Ask people which sentences they least like to hear in conversation. Among the first ten examples, you will probably find the infamous line, “We need to talk.” Whether you hear this sentence at home or in the office, it never fails to give you a knot in your stomach. You hate that sentence. It shows that a problem needs your attention as soon as possible. You are going to have a difficult conversation.
We fear difficult conversations because they are uncomfortable and hurt feelings. They may escalate into arguments. As a result, we hope it will disappear if we avoid the subject altogether.
But like it or not, these conversations are unavoidable.
Here are 8 reasons you should embrace having difficult conversations:
The problem never goes away, no matter how long you ignore it. Suppose you decide to skip treating an infected wound on your arm. You can cover it with a band-aid or hide it under clothing. Will that make it go away? No, you will still have a wound on your arm.
Mental health issues are similar to physical wounds. Having difficult conversations about them makes you anxious and uncomfortable; problems do not disappear when you ignore them. They get resolved when you deal with them.
Willingness to have a challenging conversation shows that you can open your mind to a different viewpoint. And only by doing so do you get to understand the other person’s point of view.
You approach the conversation with the right attitude and listen to and validate the person with whom you have it. You come out of the encounter knowing more than you did when you went in. It helps you expand your worldview or make necessary improvements.
You get better at having those conversations. Difficult conversations are unavoidable. If you avoid one at home, you will meet one in the workplace. And you can’t run away all the time. The more difficult conversations you have, the better you get at having them.
Learn how to approach challenging conversations. Learn how to diffuse tense situations. Your communication skills will improve. You will also be able to put yourself and the person you’re talking to at ease.
It makes us have better relationships. No human connection is full of joy all the time. When facing challenges, it makes sense to hone the ability to get through difficult times.
When you do that successfully in personal relationships, you build stronger bonds. You learn to be yourself around your friends and family, even in complex and awkward situations.
Resentment festers when problems are in the dark. So, talk things out. You have more opportunities to solve a problem when you understand it. Difficult conversations make that possible. Don’t allow fear to hold you back if you’re hesitating to have a difficult conversation. Maintain your composure and talk. And once you learn to make the most of difficult conversations, you’ll wonder why you were so afraid to have them!